Playing to Lose

Aicila: [00:00:00] Hi, welcome to Business as Unusual. I'm gonna talk about something I've talked about before, which is playing to lose. When I was nine, I, I, I used to play cr- cribbage with my grandmother, and I would lose over and over again. She was in her early 80s and very skilled. I remember being really frustrated, and so I finally said, "Let's, let's play to lose."

And she asked me what I meant, and I said, "Whoever goes out first loses." Had it all worked out. Since I was the one always crawling along the back, uh, the back would suddenly be the place to be, and I'd be winning. I'd win the game. Dealt the game, and I could not stop scoring. I had a hand with massive amounts of points after massive amounts of points, and she just kept getting further and further behind me, taking her time, while I raced ahead and crossed the finish line. Lost the game I'd invented to have, finally have a win. Uh, was, at the time, perplexed, [00:01:00] frustrated.

It gave me an insight that I, I carry today, which is that when you're skilled at something, then you have a lot more control over your outcome in it. My grandmother could win or lose the game, but she understood the mechanics of the game from a variety of perspectives. And, and so that was, uh, you know, it was a good lesson in the long time.

And the other thing that was kind of cool was the next game that we played, we played a couple to lose in a row 'cause I was like, "No, I bet I can lose. I can lose." Afterwards, we played a normal game, and I actually did much better than I ever had before. And I realized that looking at the cards from a different perspective, having those hands had created another level of awareness of the game mechanics and the options and the ways things put together.

And so, uh, interestingly also, like years later, I would teach my friends how to play cribbage, and once they had mastered the game and had played a little bit, I'd say, "All right. Well, let's play to lose." And they'd have a [00:02:00] chance to do that so that they... And they would always get better after that. It was a really great perspective And it's also really helpful in business.

And especially as of, uh, today, you know, there's... things are changing so fast. I, I think there's... We say that all the time, but that doesn't make it less true. And a lot of folks are doing their own thing, solopreneurs or, or trying to lead a company through things that they feel are, are all brand new. And something that can really help with that is play to lose.

Sit down and take a project or a plan or a, a client pitch, whatever it is, and write it out as if you were gonna walk that thing into disaster, walk that thing into true disaster. Identify what losing means, uh, whether that's not delivering what you promised, blowing a deadline, standing up in front of a, standing up in front of a group and going [00:03:00] blank.

And, and then reverse your in- and then reverse engineer your way to each real loss. And, and, and get really specific. If you go looking for how to fail,

You find assumptions that you've been working under that are shaping how you plan, before you've even started the project. And it just gets you out of your own head. It gives you an, an opportunity to create something with real purpose behind it

This can, in terms of, the energy equation and the different energies that I talk about, this can kinda work with all of them. It leans really heavily into your creative energy, and the, and the ways in which sometimes you might stuff that down to be efficient.

I don't... I, I certainly will do that. And am I playing... By playing to lose, by, by really looking at what creates disaster here, you can allow yourself to see unexpected problems, unexpected opportunities, resources you might be overlooking, [00:04:00] and creative ways to move towards the things that you're most interested in that may have been out of scope or out of sight otherwise.

Uh, sometimes, you know, like, like in the card game, just having done that, when you go back into plan, even if you don't consciously take it with you, you'll have a new dimension to what you're looking at. You'll see points that you didn't see before. I challenge you to take a project, uh, maybe one you're avoiding, maybe one you're really excited about, and write the failure version or talk it out with a friend if that's easier for you.

What does that look like? What does losing look like in this scenario? And then how do you lose? What are the moves that get you to a real loss? And, and don't, don't try to solve those things or prevent them. Just go through, let that list exist and read it back and notice what comes up. I, I'm interested too.

Let me know what you... if you do, what, what comes up for you.

I also [00:05:00] think on another level, it can just get you more comfortable with the idea that failure happens, and that's, you know, speaking to last week. It's really good to understand that, uh, that it's a possibility. Not because we're gonna seek it out, but because we don't wanna be afraid of it. We don't wanna react to things out of a fear of failure.

Noticing that it's an option, not, not reacting out of fear can make a big difference. And mapping it out can make it feel like just more a part of playing the game. And, and less like, uh, something to be noted in a big way What would you have to be willing to look at in order to map your way to failure on something you're currently avoiding?

If you wanna read on which energy you've actually got to spend right now, the energy snapshot is free and just takes a few minutes, BiCurean.com/EnergySnapshot. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for tuning in.

Thank you for tuning into business as unusual, remember, in [00:06:00] this ever evolving world of modern business, it's not about fitting in.

It's about standing out. See you next time. Stay curious, stay innovative, and always keep it unusual.