Focus Don’t Fixate

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Aicila: Hi, welcome to Business as Unusual. Today I'm gonna talk to you about the difference between focusing and fixating on your goals and how reorienting your attention in this way can help you have more likelihood of success.

Aicila: Let's start with talking about the difference between focusing and fixating. So fixating is when you are so narrowly, uh, looking at what your goal is that you can't really see the context or options. Focusing is when you're very clear about what your end goal is or your intention. And you also are taking in the context and able to do those micro adjustments or allow yourself to see unexpected solutions and opportunities that would still get you to that goal.

For example, I worked with someone who had been very fixated on, they needed to make $10,000 a month in order to afford the traveling that they wanted to do as part of their work. We worked together and instead of being fixated on that amount of money, [00:01:00] they focused on their goal. Their goal was to travel more, to have more opportunities to go to other places, to do speaking engagements and to develop short form content as a marketer.

Okay. Once they focused on their goal of travel as opposed to fixating on the goal of on the, on the money that they thought they needed for it, it actually opened things up for them. And they were able to take some short term contracts and some speaking gigs where they didn't get paid for the gig, but they did get paid for all of their travel inclusively. And they got a small stipend for the gig. Enough that they were then able to use that opportunity and leverage it to get more content for their social media marketing and more speaking gigs and presentation opportunities by having some prestigious things in their portfolio that they could point to. And so when I, that's what I mean in the difference between fixating and focusing.

And sometimes another part of this is you'll fixate on what you think the solution is instead [00:02:00] of identifying what your actual goal is. So as in this example, their actual goal was this travel and opportunity to speak and create content. And they had determined the only way to get that was this financial way.

And so they were really limited how they could create that for themselves by fixating on this other goal instead of having that expanded view. So that's what I mean by that.

And you'll notice that I did once again talk about intention versus goal. And it's a little semantic. And sometimes it's something that we need to do to disrupt the ways in which we do, what my client did there. Where they get, um, they get distracted by the methodology or the solution they've come up with.

And they determine that to be a goal. And it's very easy to focus on money as a goal because it is very concrete, it's commonly supported. And yes, you do need to make some money to, to achieve your goals and to get to your next level of success. However, when you step [00:03:00] back and you think about what your intentions are and how that serves your overall vision for either your work experience, your clients, and your deliverables, or the life experiences and situation that you wanna have. You are more likely to be able to achieve it because you're not just looking in one narrow way, you're looking at the full field of opportunity that comes to you. And it can be easier to say no to things when you're clear about what your intentions are. If my intention is to be location independent because I have family all over the country and I want to be able to visit them and not have to lose money as a contractor then I can have the intention of taking work that travels. However, I could also say I'm gonna take a job that is very location specific, but maybe it's location specific to where someone in my family lives. And I choose to focus on that area for a little while. The intention is that flexibility of location.

It's not necessarily always working remotely. Because then that helps me to [00:04:00] make those decisions that allow me to achieve the things that I'm gonna find most fulfilling while doing the work that I can and want to do.

Another thing when you're focusing on your goals or intentions is to get crystal clear on the things that you can do with what you have and where you are. One of the biggest mistakes that I see people make, myself included at times is focusing on what I'll be able to do, when I have X, Y, or Z. I'm gonna be able to do this when this happens.

And what that does is it creates a constant state of waiting and stuckness. And it takes you out of the opportunities that are right in front of you right now.

And this can be a little tricky because there, and this is something you have to follow your own inner wisdom and intuition and self-trust on. Because diving in before you're actually ready versus over-prepared and waiting [00:05:00] for things because there's, on some level, you're scared rather than because they're what you actually need.

They, they aren't always easy to distinguish from the inside. It's one of the, uh, one of the reasons that I have friends and colleagues and people I work with and people that I've paid as advisors at different times in my career .And, you know, therapists in my personal life. And it's because that it can get super muddy inside trying to distinguish between, am I overthinking this?

Or am I? Am I am being too hasty? One simple thing to consider is what is your tendency? So I tend to be someone who really spends a lot of time trying to research and get a, you know, a good structure and an infrastructure and think through all the potentials. So if I feel like I need to wait for something, I question that a little more. Because I'm, I'm much more likely to be, uh, to default to waiting for things to be just right. And somebody who finds that they frequently [00:06:00] jump in and, and sort of regret it or feel like they, they kind of put themselves in a, in a deep end, no, no swimming lessons kind of situation.

That person might, when they feel like, oh, I gotta get going, might want to just take a beat. And say, okay, since I usually like to jump, let me see. Lemme take a moment and consider it. Do, do I really want to jump in this moment? Is that the right thing or is it just that it's something I can do. Because I see that a lot it, the people that jump real fast. Uh, it's usually because there's a, they don't wanna wait.

They feel outta control and helpless. They wanna take an action. And so they wanna just get going. And before they really have a sense of what direction they wanna go in. And the, the folks like me who tend to overthink and over prepare, they're really nervous of making a mistake. They feel like everything has to be perfect, 'cause if it goes wrong, something like the world is gonna end. And so getting really clear about that for yourself, what your default is. And then questioning it when you're in your default space, is a [00:07:00] really simple way to start to suss out those distinctions. And the other part of that is if you are action oriented or you feel a sense of reward upon completion, then saying, okay, well maybe I don't wanna dive in and maybe I'm not ready or prepared for the big thing. So you've, you've just, you put that to the side, look around and say, well, what can I do right now? What's one thing I could do right now that gets me a little closer to what I want? And honestly, a lot of times that is the less sexy stuff.

That's the, I need to sit down and make a spreadsheet. Or I need to figure out what my budget is. Or I need to do some, you know, cold calls or some emails or call some people for advice, like that kind of stuff that that doesn't lead to the the immediate big flashy outcome. And is what builds your momentum towards that outcome that you're looking for.

Really learning to love the process and to support yourself in loving that [00:08:00] process. I know I, I hear myself talk and I'm like, seriously. And it really does make a difference. If, if you can attach the joy you'll have to achieving your goal or to the outcome, to the process that you have to do on a daily basis, whether it's filing or accounting or cold calls or spreadsheets or numbers.

You are gonna enjoy your experience a lot more because there's a lot more process than there is outcome. And the, and you're much more likely to get to that end goal that you want because you're doing those day-to-day things. And you know, for example, they talk about going viral and you know, if you're someone who does content creation, you know there's this it, oh, the algorithm and viral.

And here's the thing, if you're listening to this podcast, those things really don't matter to you because the amount of money and, and people power that you have to have to be able to effectively, uh, run a game around that is, is really not available to the majority of us.

And so the way that you get away from [00:09:00] that is you do these day-to-day things. And you cultivate that regular input. There's a woman that was on the podcast, she's a Nigerian woman in the UK who teaches women about money management. And a few, uh, a last month or so she posted on LinkedIn that she made a commitment to herself about a year and a half ago to post daily on LinkedIn.

And she has through her daily posts about what she does and how she shows up and what her values and goals are with her business and the people that she works with - she's generated over a million pounds in revenue through that simple act of daily posting.

And I don't think she went viral, quote unquote, even once. Because it, it going viral is like trying to be famous. Like it'll happen where it won't. Solely based on a whole pile of things, completely out of your control. And real satisfaction in the work that you're doing, and the opportunity to achieve your goals will come from focusing on that which is in your control.

So you can post every day. [00:10:00] You can focus on keeping your books clean. You can share your messaging accurately. You can make three sales calls a day. Those things are within your grasp. Going viral is really outside of it. It's either luck and, and the luck is, is maximized by that daily input, by the consistency of posting.

So focus on what you can control. Don't fixate on a specific outcome or a specific way of things being.

Don't wait for something else. And learn to love the process.

Thank you for tuning into business as unusual, remember, in this ever evolving world of modern business, it's not about fitting in.

It's about standing out. See you next time. Stay curious, stay innovative, and always keep it unusual.