Coaches & Dragons with Autumn Clarke
[00:00:00]
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Welcome to Business As Unusual. Today, I'm excited to introduce Autumn Wade, your inner rebel's favorite coach. Autumn is known for her unique approach, hunting inner gremlins, and building T-T-R-P-G inspired tools. T-T-R-P-G Is tabletop roleplaying game, for those of you that don't just know what that means.
Uh, T-T-R-P-G inspired tools that turn stock into momentum. Her personal quest is to ask the question that lands so true, it sparks you to move. Find her work@coachesanddragons.com. Welcome au.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Hello. Excited
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: I have been so excited to have this chat with you. And, uh, for those of you that are listening, I'm absolutely a d and d geek, so, uh, I think you probably already know that, but by the end of the show you will definitely be clear. So. And, uh, just to dive right in, I know that one of the challenges that you see a lot is that you run into, when you get with your clients, you start with them.
They're [00:01:00] often stuck, exhausted, and scattered. They feel totally invisible and they're really scared that it's always gonna be that way.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Mm-hmm.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: And so what is, how do you work with that challenge? What's your. Besides hunting in her gremlins. I mean, I'm sure that's part of it, but you know, like what, what does that mean to hunt inner gremlin?
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: I mean the, well, I think with all of the clients, the first step is always having them be heard, um, and being able to say, realize, oh, I'm not, on, my own, problem is not. Unsolvable. Um, because oftentimes we are only having these dialogues in our
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Mm-hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: And in our head it's a awful place to try to solve things
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Yeah.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: with stuff.
So it's that like, oh, I am wonderful and unique and special, but my problems are not. So now what can I do about it? [00:02:00] Um, and so that is always kind of where we start is let's get it out.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Get it out.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: get it out.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Do you have a specific process for that? I mean, obviously you're having a conversation, but I, I think getting people to open up especially about their problems. Even when they're there for it, like, I've gone to therapy and, you know, I kind of sit there and I'm like, eh, I don't know if I wanna talk to you even though I've paid to.
Right. So what's you, how do you, how do you stimulate that, that conversation to be genuinely helpful to them?
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Yeah. Well, so. Oh, like part of it is a little bit of a cheat, and I promise, I'm not trying to skirt the question, but it's, I've always been this person who people feel like they can just talk to
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: and just say things to, I don't know what it is about me, but people just feel comfortable and often the first time I meet people I will know so much about them and they're like, wow. That [00:03:00] felt really good. So there's just something about me and how I show up that helps people to feel like there's a safe space to share. But I definitely will go out of my, not out of my way, just it's, my job as a coach when I'm with these people is to be real just call out what's out there. And a lot of times what's out there is, Hey, you're talking really shitty to yourself. Or hey, that what you're saying that's really sucky and then trying to soften it. No, it totally
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Mm-hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: And so giving per a person permission to say, yeah, I hate this thing and I am having a hard time and this sucks. And that's okay. Like that's
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: I,
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: moment.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: I wonder if the framework helps too, because it is, as somebody who has done TT or [00:04:00] PG games. And, and for me one of the things that I found actually is when my kids were little, it was a really great place for me to act out. Um, you know, so I always played very ruthless characters. Because it was a way that I could sort of get that outta my system because I had to be like, very patient and, and, you know, like care for these small humans. And, and it allowed me to sort of vent, I guess. And then come back to be more patient and nurturing in the, in the day to day.
And I'm wondering if that the, you know, the wrapping, the layer of T-T-R-P-G that you put around your coaching practices, for the folks that it speaks to is also another level of permission. 'cause if they're used to that as a space that they engage in a, in a different aspect of their, their, their selves, maybe it's easier too for them to sort of lean in, or do you feel like that's true?
Or am I just making something up?
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: is. I mean, and I think it's part of why I got [00:05:00] so excited about bring, about merging these two worlds together because in game, people will take risks. They know their character, they understand that their character has certain strengths and certain weaknesses, and they're okay with that. They understand if I'm a barbarian and my job is to go and be tough and be the first person to go out swinging. I'm not upset that I wasn't the high intelligent one to come up with a plan
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Mm-hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: charisma one to get us a free room.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Right.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: my job. And so they know that in game they critical failures, you know, that, that were like, if you roll a natural one in game, it is often the funniest moment of the entire session. And then you adapt and you grow and you learn. So people are used to that in game. And so as quickly as I can make that connection for them [00:06:00] there, it, it starts to like be this metaphor. People can say, oh yeah, I know what that's like. I know what it's like to fail and laugh at it. know what it's like to have a strength that is needed and be okay with it.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Yeah.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Um, and so it's, and each player's different. Some people have never played, but they know the world and so it's, it's finding that, like what's the parallel to help connect them to this way of just stepping into somebody else's shoes for a moment so that they can feel what it's like, and then that moment to be like, Hey, you get to do that for yourself too, you know?
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: That has a really good point. And the, the other thing that, that you talked about that there's definitely some hesitancy where, where folks, there's some coach flus that are you, they [00:07:00] can, they can, I don't wanna, um, let's just say there, there's sometimes folks that prey on our desperation. Because we, we know, we know enough to know that we're missing something or that we're underwater.
And, and they come along promising the moon and, and delivering way less. And one of the things that I see in your work, you're really trying to attract people that would be a great fit for you by, by sharing sort of this very interesting approach.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Mm-hmm.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: How would, how would you recommend people look for a coach that's a good fit?
Obvi obviously
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Mm-hmm.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: promoting you today, but I think you have some ideas about that based on some of our conversations, right? How to find that good fit.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: I think for me, if you cannot be fearless with the person, they're not the coach for you.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: So if you're going and meeting with them and feeling like you have to soften something or that you, you don't feel comfortable sharing something with them or, [00:08:00] or that's not the place. Because I, I see coaching as the place,
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Mm-hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: in game where it's like, go in and be fearless and have fun and do the work. Um, but it's all, it's about that partnership. It is really hard to break through the marketing that happens. Um, people know what works and they know how to tap into fear and to prey on that. My thing is like, if they promise you something, it's probably not good. It's probably not a good, I mean it's, if they are you feel guilty or if the wording choices that they're using is kind shaming you in a way, it's that's not good.
They're not. I'm not here for that, that that's a totally ugly place to come from in [00:09:00] my opinion. And like I do have very strong feelings about it because the coaches and the coach flus going out there and doing the stuff and giving people really bad experiences or tricking them to come in and then like, well, if you really care about taking care of yourself, you'd pay me $5,000. Oh, awful. Heartbreaking. But those are the experiences people have, and what that means is it's that it's so much harder for people to come and work with me or anybody else who wants to make an impact on them.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Well, and, and coaching, you know, if we take it out of the realm of business and life coaching, right.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Mm-hmm.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: When you have a coach, say, in a sport most of us know what that looks like. The coach provides you with context, they can try to motivate you. You are the one that has to do all the work.
You have to be the one to get up and do [00:10:00] the, the crunches and the morning runs. And you have to do the extra practices or whatever it is. And, and what I see in a lot of the marketing that a I call marketing to people's desperation is, it's like those ab, like those little electrodes that tell you just put 'em on your abs and you're gonna have great abs.
Aicila: It's a shortcut because. The work. It, it's tedious and it's a lot, and it's not fast. You, you, there's no shortcuts to, to a good health. And there's no shortcuts to a business. It's the, it's the day to day and it's not sexy. It's running and sweaty.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Entrance between, uh, you know, there's a coach who's really gonna provide that. And sometimes they're gonna make you mad. 'cause they're gonna make you, they're gonna push you to excel in ways they, that you want to
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Mm-hmm.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: you're not, um, you're not excited about the work to get there. Right? Like that, that will happen, but. But it's never gonna be, [00:11:00] here's, here's the electrode machine for your better abs.
And I think that that's the, the disconnect that I feel because people know that they're not stupid. They do know there's no shortcuts.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Mm-hmm.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: were in that place of overwhelm and desperation and fear, and someone says, I've got this easy answer, man is attempting, man is tempting
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Mm-hmm.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: okay, I can throw money at this problem even if it's money I don't have, and it'll be solved.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Yeah. And then it doesn't work because those things are one size fits all, but it doesn't actually fit
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Mm-hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: and it doesn't work, and it doesn't necessarily mean that you're gonna be like, oh wow, that person sold me something that wasn't true. A lot of times we go in that and say, I failed
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: I failed again, and then it's that much harder next time.
It's like, well, I don't know. Am I really gonna do it this time? It's, it's really tough. I love that analogy of [00:12:00] like working out and bringing it with the, because it absolutely, it, if it's such a good way to put it of like the electrical things on your abs, that will not work. It, it, there might be things that even work for the super short term, you will not get lasting change. Overnight,
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Yeah. And without changing your habits. You, the lasting change comes from you if it's your life, right?
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Yeah, the only, like, when I think about things that are lasting changes. I think as humans, um, ev everybody's probably experienced that where you eat something and then you also happen to be very sick right after that and you're like, well, I can't eat that anymore. Right. As humans, our biology is like very set on. You go through something awful and you remember it and you protect. So something like that. Can leave a lasting change, but when it comes to this work, breaking habits in some cases, habits that you've had since you were a child,
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Mm-hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: that will [00:13:00] not happen with one worksheet?
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Right. Even if you pay $5,000 for it.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Yes. I mean it's, it is hard work and way I think about my role in this is I don't have the answers and I
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: What whatcha doing on my podcast? If you don't have the answers, Hey.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: I
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: No, I'm kidding.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: the like, but it's true. Like I, it's hard sometimes to, because people just want say, Hey, I just want you to tell me what to do. And it's like, I want you to trust yourself and listen to yourself. Like I, I, each person is the expert on themselves. My job in a coach's job is to there, see what is, call out, what they're seeing.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Mm-hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: help the person learn. I think about coaches as like, you will get there eventually, my but with a coach, we're gonna help that be a lot smoother and in some cases faster.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: but I think that's the difference in some ways between a coach and a [00:14:00] mentor. If you're mentoring someone, you will tell them what to do. You'll say these are the things to do because you're helping them to build a specific set of skills. And I, I, I've definitely worked in both realms. And, and it is tricky because there are times when people, they need a little structure and context, but they, they don't necessarily, um, always understand how to ask for that. I, I know at least that's what I run into is that I, somebody wants a mentor, but they look for as a coach
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Mm-hmm.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: or they want a coach, but they find a mentor. And, and they, it's a, it seems a little bit like an academic distinction, but it is a very different mentality for the work that you're doing and the way that you're gonna engage and support someone.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Yeah, and my hope is that any coach experience will be able to at some point identify that as early on as possible. I feel like there will be times that something will come up and, you know, a client will be looking for some kind of advice. I mean, I have over 20 years experiences, [00:15:00] senior leader in company in IT and operations and strategy. I, so there's a lot of stuff that I can go out and just blurt and people will ask for that sometimes. And I'm like, we, we can talk about that outside of this, but in this session here with you and me now, that's not what Im here to do. Um, I want for everybody that I meet with to get to be where. If I need a mentor, I know how to tap into that for myself.
I can get what I need. I can identify what I need, and if it's from somebody else, I know how to ask for
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: and I'm comfortable, asking for it. I'm willing to ask for
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Mm-hmm. When, and something I'm hearing in what you're saying that I am so aligned with is that it sounds like when you're working with people, they're in that place of needing to be reminded to trust themselves. And it is very important [00:16:00] in that process to to stay out of it, ultimately. It's better for them to make decisions and to take actions that.
In a larger context might not have been the most ideal, if they're the, the actions and decisions they feel most aligned with, because that's the more important part.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Yeah. It's the way I think about it, the journey that like with the client is, first we gotta know ourselves. Like, so the first thing that I do when I work with a one-on-one client is we spend 90 minutes doing a values exercise. It's, it's, it goes by fast. It is a lot of work and it's really hard, but it's so fricking awesome because that whole session is about people getting to see the parts of them that make them awesome.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: also see how those awesome parts have some not so great things that come along with it. So as an example, my number one value is village. What's great about that is I'm a person that shows up. [00:17:00] I love helping people. It's our success, it's our failures. It's how do we help. E everybody grow together. the horrible way that shows up is if somebody cuts line, cuts the line or is swerving in and outta traffic.
I am getting ready to rage and like I cannot turn that off until, until they are like away from me. I would love to change that, to change that would mean I would have to get rid of that village value and I'm not willing to do that. So it's that understanding. can help people so much of why am I feeling this way?
What's causing me to have a hard time working with this type of person? It's thing that sucks about me. I wish it would change, but I can't ever get it to change. Why? What's wrong with me? that one exercise of knowing what your actual values are, what your core values are. Can [00:18:00] get open you up so much to say, oh, that thing that I've been wanting to get rid of, I, you couldn't pay me millions of dollars to get rid of.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Right. Right. Mm-hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: And from there, once you know that, then it can go into, okay, well now that you know that, how do you start listening to that and trusting that?
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: So for our fellow, um, nerds and geeks, what, what class? Like, of like if you were gonna put your coaching self into a class, what would you do? I know what class you like to play because let's be clear guys, we already talked about that, but. Mm-hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: the forge and bringing in more tools, I, I feel like I'm in Artificer territory now.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Artificer, I think like a, a dwarf [00:19:00] barbarian, artificer. 'cause you got that like ready to piss people off with the hard questions. Right. And then there's the forge. So, I mean, I don't know that's So
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: there for
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: you there for that?
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: wanna design me a character, like tell me I,
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Your character sheet? For your, your, yeah. Like we'll have to do that with Victoria.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Yes. Oh yes.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: What does success look like for you?
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: So I think in life success for me is to find joy.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Um, I have a lot of messy things we all do that makes it really tough, and it's kind of like I can be in the middle of a shit storm and still look out the window and see the beautiful leaves there and be like, that happy, fulfilling moment.
Not trying to be happy all the time. Just need to be able to find the joy,
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Yeah.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Success with my business. I, this is where I try to be like, okay, what a, what is [00:20:00] success to me right now? I think overall, I ca I would not feel comfortable ever claiming success if I did it on somebody else's path. The mantra that I try to tell myself since I quit the corporate world and did this is the only wrong path, is the one that isn't me. Because there's so many people who will tell you what to do, and it's so easy to say, I just need to copy these people, but if I just do that, I'm living somebody else's life and building somebody else's business and then I'm gonna hate
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Right.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: So
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: a reason.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: yes. And so it's very much building what's right for me. a lot of times I remember that sometimes I'll get stuck on something and I'll have to be like, wait a minute. It, I was on somebody else's path and I didn't know it.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: And then it's like, okay, well let's, let's correct, let's get back over to the other path. success with my [00:21:00] clients. Um, oh, I will always be high fiving myself at the end of a call if I pissed my client
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Hmm. Dip dwarf barbarian.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Yes, yes. I wanna see the eye roll. I wanna see the groan. I wanna see the like. I wanna see that your stomach is like flipping over and you're ready to barf because you're just like, what? Ugh. I wanna feel like you're like, if you were here, you would just slap me for that
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Mm-hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: because that means that I said exactly what needed to be said to challenge something that was holding onto you. closely. so I love those moments. It's so, it's not, just to be clear, it's not pissing people off by saying offensively. It's more of challenging.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: I, I, I hear it.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: offend, looking to,
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Challenge.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: [00:22:00] um, piss you off with knowledge.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: What's something you are excited about in your business?
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: So I'm excited about right now is I'm finishing up my first month with the Forge, which was a business pivot that I made. I was focusing so much on trying to get one-on-one clients. It was sucking the soul out of me. And I was dreading coming into this office every day to work. Um, and so now I'm one month in with the Forge where I have membership. So it's kind of like Patreon, but I use. Kofi, KOFI. I've got members, I'm getting ready to do my first workshop. Um, I am getting ready to launch the second downloadable tool on the site, which is the, uh, gremlin manual.
The Inner Gremlin manual, which is where you get to go and like find your gremlins, hunt them, seek them out, and get rid of 'em. So that's been a lot of fun. So I'm. [00:23:00] I'm excited about hitting that milestone and getting the moment to reflect see how it feels to have been doing this compared to what the past couple of years have felt like in my business.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: It sounds awesome. For folks that are listening, how do they learn more? Follow you. Get in touch.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Oh I just launched a TikTok,
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: Woo hoo.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: so very exciting and terrifying all at the same time. It's at Coaches and Dragons on TikTok. I am also posting stuff on LinkedIn. Autumn Wade on LinkedIn. But really the best place to go and track me down is you can go to my website, coaches and dragons.com, and from there you can get to the Forge, you can get to all other kinds of good stuff that we're doing.
If you're a coach I help organize a coach's barbecue. [00:24:00] I think you are going to be presenting at that
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: I will be, actually, I'm gonna be part of the coach's barbecue.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Woo.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: I'm
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: So it's, I do a lot more because again, my number one value is village.
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: mm-hmm.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: you will find me coaches together, going and setting up virtual conferences that are completely free and awesome, building tools, doing workshops, being on podcasts.
I, I love doing it all,
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: That's fantastic.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: was a really long
bau--she-they-_1_09-17-2025_140100: It was perfect. No, no, don't say that. Stop it. You love doing it all. That's the end. That's fantastic. Thank you so much for chatting with me today. I appreciate it.
autumn-wade--she-her-_1_09-17-2025_160102: Yay. Thanks for having me.
Next week, join me as I discuss how energy, specifically, momentum, creativity, and connection, is an essential but often overlooked resource that drives productivity, innovation, and satisfaction in business.
Thank you for tuning into business as unusual, remember, in this ever evolving world of modern business, it's not about [00:25:00] fitting in.
It's about standing out. See you next time. Stay curious, stay innovative, and always keep it unusual.
