Relationships as Assets

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[00:00:00] Aicila: Are you overlooking the most valuable asset in your business and life? The people you already know and those who sustain you? Many entrepreneurs focus solely on professional networking, neglecting the power of family, friends, and personal support systems in their journey.

[00:00:15] Aicila: Today's episode touches on both how to cultivate. And replenish your whole network. Creating a wellspring of opportunities, unwavering support, and sustainable growth.   

[00:00:28] Aicila: Today we're gonna explore how nurturing genuine professional relationships alongside cherishing personal connections can be more impactful than solely chasing financial rewards.

[00:00:39] Aicila: Building a strong professional network provides invaluable advice, guidance, collaborations, connections, and emotional sustenance during challenging times. Learn how to identify, nurture, and leverage key professional and personal relationships for sustainable business and personal success. 

[00:00:59] Aicila: I [00:01:00] do want to introduce a couple of caveats. One, this isn't about looking at relationships and people as pawns on your road to success,

[00:01:12] Aicila: We all know someone who talks about people in terms of the things they can do for them. And there's another aspect to this. It's about genuinely making connections and it's a pretty slow process. You don't meet someone one day and hop into business with them the next.

[00:01:32] Aicila: There's the cultivation of relationship and trust that takes time. And that's probably one of the indicators of a difference between somebody who's more looking at this from a transactional, or I would say hidden transactional space, that pawn perspective versus someone who is genuinely looking to build powerful relationships to create

[00:01:55] Aicila: mutual success. I have a good friend and business colleague [00:02:00] who's incredibly good at that, peggy McCartha. I met her through a podcast community. We've been on each other's podcasts and over the past couple of years, gotten to know each other, as people and in our professional capacity. We do coworking sessions. I support her in her endeavors. She supports me in mine. Neither of us started out with the idea that, that we would have so many things in common and create so much together. It evolved over time.

[00:02:26] Aicila: One example comes to mind. Peggy had a business community for photographers and creative entrepreneurs that I started hanging out in with her. And she led this series of challenges. And because it was a newer community, I thought, well, I'll show up to support her. I love what she's doing. I'm sure I'll get something out of it.

[00:02:45] Aicila: She creates good community. I didn't expect from going through her process that I would have so many things revealed to me about my business and my goals.  

[00:02:55] Aicila: I'm not a photographer and I don't consider myself to be a creative [00:03:00] entrepreneur. And like many entrepreneurs, I have a really hard time saying what I do in a sentence. I, I often see people's eyes glaze over when I start describing things in minutiae because they were just either being polite when they asked what I do or they wanted to know.

[00:03:17] Aicila: They didn't really want that much detail. And she asked a question. Because I was showing up for her and I wanted to participate in a, in an extra way because I, I believe in what she's doing, I approached it differently. And I came up with this really clear way of talking about how I help people build businesses that work for them. That they're the compass. And I wanna stand and help them trust that before they start looking for all sorts of tools and other people to tell them the right way to do it.

[00:03:48] Aicila: I would not have taken that class, if I hadn't gotten to know Peggy in a more personal way. Because I didn't really see how a set of challenges for photographers and creative entrepreneurs would apply to me. [00:04:00] And yet it really did, and it, it, it helped me in this journey of finding ways to talk about what I do, and what I want to do to support people, in a much more effective way.

[00:04:13] Aicila: That's one example of how that professional and personal relationship can work together to create something even more powerful than one or the other. And that my commitment to investing in that relationship, into supporting what my friend was doing, ultimately benefited me as a business person and a person.

[00:04:34] Aicila: And I think really successful relationships tend to have that quality to them. You have to be clear on what you want, and you have to be clear on how you wanna show up. And then once you do, this sort of magical thing will happen. 

[00:04:48] Aicila: She was on the show a couple weeks ago. Go check that episode out.

When you think of relationships as assets, it's not about treating people like a, a coin to spend. [00:05:00] It's, it's more like cultivating a garden. You cultivate that relationship with that person, and you look for places that you are genuinely aligned, that you can support each other. And the ways in which your mutual goals and values amplify what you're doing.

[00:05:17] Aicila: It's very much like a personal relationship as well, where it's not so much who the person is. , that's part of it, but who are you with them? How do you feel about yourself? F What kinds of activities do you engage in? If you're working in business with someone you know, translating to that, do you feel empowered? Do you feel inspired? Do you work with them and then go get a bunch of things done or you feel kind of drained after an interaction? And that's not to say that that person isn't skilled at business or a wonderful human being.

[00:05:47] Aicila: They may not be aligned in terms of what you need right now to be successful in the goals that you have. That's my caveat, is notice that in yourself. And notice whether you have a tendency [00:06:00] to be more of a taker or a giver. And, and, and, and control for that, if you will.

[00:06:05] Aicila: So if you're more of a giver. Really work to be around other givers. 'cause it can be, it can be really draining to constantly have to push against the takers. There's nothing wrong with that. It's, it's that that ecosystem can be more draining and you know how I feel about being drained. 

 How does this apply to you in your business relationships? One, think about the people that are always there for you. And something I also think is really important is think about the people that you don't think about. What do I mean by that? I worked with a woman who would frequently feel very alone and isolated in her work. And she absolutely had challenges.

[00:06:44] Aicila: However, she had told me multiple stories, over the year of people that had showed up to help her to, to give her free conferences or support her pro bono in her work. And [00:07:00] that didn't quite register for her.

[00:07:02] Aicila: At one point we were talking and I, I challenged her to reflect on why that was. You cannot be fully successful if you aren't looking at what's actually happening.

[00:07:11] Aicila: And she wasn't. She was overlooking the ways in which she was supported. Sometimes that's because you're being supported in ways that you don't value. Which means you might want to end that situation. It's not great to have somebody giving you something that you're not valuing. And sometimes it's a habit of thinking.

[00:07:27] Aicila: We feel alone. We feel like there's something we need and want that we don't have. So we say, oh, we don't get what we want. And that's a really important thing to clear up in yourself. I know that I. I have at times felt, oh, like I don't get to have what I want. Then I sit down and I'm like, no, I get a lot of things that I want.

[00:07:50] Aicila: I don't feel like I know how to ask for it in certain relationships. Step one is really noticing who actually shows up for you right now [00:08:00] and supports you. And dig, dig deep into your psyche. If your mom's always there for you, like maybe you feel like my, my mom or my partner, I see that a lot in people.

[00:08:10] Aicila: Their partners are constantly showing up. And they feel a little entitled to that support. Oh, well of course they're gonna do that. It benefits them. And it's not their business. It's your business. And yes, they love you and they support you. And, and so in that way it benefits them. However, honoring that that's happening feels really important to being successful. Then you can cultivate ways of showing gratitude and appreciation to that very core person. And not say things like, no one's ever there for me. Because that's gonna make them feel bad.

[00:08:40] Aicila: That does not cultivate the best relationship you could with them. And then expand it out. Make a list if you like to draw pictures, whatever works for you. Put it in a voice note. Outline the people professionally, personally, and both that support you in the work that you do.

[00:08:57] Aicila: And for me, another key part of that is [00:09:00] people that I know will be honest with me. I had a couple of friends a few years ago who were remarking on another friend who was doing an endeavor. And they were like, yeah, they, they're just not very good at this. And I was like, well, you should, you should tell them. They were professionals in that area and they could see the mistakes that this other person was making.

[00:09:19] Aicila: And I was like, you, you gotta tell 'em so that they can correct it. I'm like, well, we don't wanna hurt their feelings. And I was like, oh man. And that made me aware that I couldn't trust them to give me the kind of feedback that I would want before I went out into the world with a product or a project.

[00:09:35] Aicila: Cultivate for yourself, whatever that is. I want people who will be honest. Not mean, there's brutal honesty and people are more invested in the brutality of it. However, really cultivating that, that that relationship of trust where people feel like they can be clear and direct about what they see, so that I have the best chance of being successful when I go out into the world with what I'm doing [00:10:00] and.

[00:10:00] Aicila: Who is the first person that you think of when you need business advice or emotional support? Those are key relationships. Who's the first person that you pick up the phone to call? Who would you call at two in the morning if you were stranded somewhere ?

[00:10:15] Aicila: Now, that might be a personal person. It might also be someone you have a professional relationship with. Start teasing that out.  

[00:10:20] Aicila: Once you've identified those key relationships and some of those folks that you feel really aligned with, think about how you nurture those connections and the ways that you feel supported and the ways that you are supporting. The other thing is some of that maintenance in the age of social media.

[00:10:41] Aicila: You can feel like you're connecting to people because you posted something on LinkedIn or Facebook. And then, and you're like, oh, I shared that. And yes you did. You shared it in this very general way. However, making sure that you're really connecting with people on a one-to-one perspective to [00:11:00] build a little bit more of that mutual engagement.

[00:11:03] Aicila: If there's something you're doing that, that somebody you really respect in community, would be interested in, give them a direct message. And say, Hey, I, wanted to share this with you, 'cause it, it made me think of you and the kind of work that you do. And I'd love to get your thoughts or have you participate or bring you in on the next project.

[00:11:21] Aicila: There's all sorts of ways that you can make it a little bit more directly connected , and continue to nurture that. Sometimes we drift apart from people. It's not because we don't want to connect with them. . Maybe we used to see them every day sort of naturally at the gym, and now we don't go to the gym anymore or they moved. And we still wanna have some kind of connection with them. Do a quick call. Uh, we, you, you could text too, but text in some ways is fictional because when you're texting with people, you kinda make up what you think is happening and, and it's not really fully attentive.

[00:11:54] Aicila: I recommend even just that quick five or 10 minute call with the people that you wanna keep in contact [00:12:00] with and just keep aware of. For me, I'm more of a scout, right? I scout out what's happening and so I really wanna be engaged with people over time so that when there's a good project fit. I am really clear on who has the capacity and the skills and the interest in that project. And then I can give somebody a really good connection. To get their project done with someone that I have clarity of what their alignment is.

For me, that regular check-in is really critical so that I can keep building those awarenesses and connections with the different people out in the world that I meet,

[00:12:36] Aicila: There's a personal CRM uh, clay that I recommended to a client a while back, and you can tell it. Just look through my contacts and tell me who I haven't talked to in the last three months, and it'll just bring those people up and then you can say, oh, I really missed talking to this person.

 Make it very much a habit that's really easy for you to maintain those connections.  

[00:12:56] Aicila: Leveraging these relationships for growth, this [00:13:00] is the place where after you've, you're clear on who are these people to you, and you've been engaging in that cultivation and that connection for authenticity and clarity.

[00:13:10] Aicila: Then people could refer to you, you can refer to them- collaborations. I have a , a podcasting partner G, that I've been doing Not Dinner Conversations with. And she and I met through Peggy. And G reached out to me and said, I like to get to know people.

[00:13:25] Aicila: And so we did a little half hour chat and then we started meeting regularly. And we realized we really liked the way that we talked about topics. We always learned from

[00:13:33] Aicila: Each other. And so we decided to do a podcast in our free time. And it's been wonderful. When things are tough, having, professional and personal support to talk to people. And also when things are going well, having people to celebrate with. I, I feel like I'm gonna say the wrong person. I think it was Bette Midler, but there is a famous actress who said the hardest part of success was finding people who would celebrate with her. And that's so sad to me.

[00:13:59] Aicila: Be in [00:14:00] relationships with people that when they're successful, the first thing you think of is how happy you are for them. And make sure that those, those are the people that you have in your life. Because we don't have time for anything else, honestly. And really lean into that collective knowledge and support.

[00:14:20] Aicila: Strong relationships are built on mutual support and a willingness to give and receive. Also, if you're someone who really doesn't like to receive, work on that. That's not a sustainable thing. And you'll end up resentful and honestly, less successful. It is the mutuality and the ability to lean into our collective success, that creates that extra special magic, and that doesn't come if all you do is give.  

[00:14:48] Aicila: Let's get practical. Identify three professional relationships and or personal relationships that you wanna nurture in the next month. Strengthening these connections can lead to new opportunities, increased [00:15:00] resilience, and a greater sense of fulfillment.

[00:15:03] Aicila: Schedule one activity this week to connect with someone that you've just identified. Remember, neglecting your whole network can lead to missed opportunities, burnout, and a feeling of isolation.

[00:15:15] Aicila: I've heard before that your network is your network worth. I'm gonna say your whole network is not only your net worth, it's also your lifeline. Both professional and personal relationships are valuable assets. Nurture your connections, offer genuine support, and watch your business and wellbeing flourish.

[00:15:33] Aicila: Invest time and energy in all the relationships that sustain you. The returns will surprise you. You do not have to go it alone next week. Join me and Todd Bracher.

[00:15:44] Aicila: We explore purpose-driven innovation, the unnoticed power of design, and Todd's journey towards making the world's most sustainable office chair. As always, thank you for tuning into Business as UNusual. Remember, in this ever evolving world of business, [00:16:00] it's not about fitting in, it's about standing out.

[00:16:02] Aicila: See you next time. Stay curious, stay innovative, and always keep it unusual.