Humor and Empowerment with Simon Calderbank
FINALs4e16SimonCalderank
[00:00:00] Welcome to another episode of Business As Unusual. Today we dive into the intricacies of leadership and personal development with our guest, Simon Calder Bank. In this episode, you'll discover the power of empathetic leadership and how Simon's unique upbringing in a matriarchal environment influenced his compassionate coaching style.
Stay tuned for key takeaways on transforming imposter syndrome into a guiding voice for personal and professional growth.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Welcome to the
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Thank.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Simon Calder Bank. Is that
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: It is. Well, well pronounced. I get it. I get called many variations of that name . But yeah, Simon Calder Bank. Thank you. It's nice to meet you as well.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: So Simon Simon called a run of big
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Big nose. Yeah, big news.
Sounds nice. Actually, big news could be quite, quite relevant.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Probably he's a caring, challenging, and compassionate leadership mindset coach raised in a strong matriarchal household with three powerful female role models. his mother, his auntie, and his big sister resonated well on his perspective and empathy. [00:01:00] Which helped him to develop a caring, challenging, and compassionate coaching style.
It was this context that ultimately drew him to support female leaders. And that's a little bit what we're gonna talk about with Simon today.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Good. Yeah, she's up
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: to the
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: there. The auntie's just, she's just out. He's just out shot actually. Yeah. But she's always there, as is my sister and my mum and my daughter. So I've got raised by women and they still look over me. It's nice to have that. Nice to have their presence always.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Our families and our communities are, are so impactful in how we show up. And, and being more conscious of that. I, I think I, I have a lot of weird ideas about how community and connection are more important than profit. So
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah, no, I'm, I'm with you.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: I live in an alternate universe and I, I've been very happy about it.
So I, I love when I can talk to people who have that, have that perspective as well. And so, of the things that you do in your work, your leadership and mindset coach. You primarily work on supporting [00:02:00] women leaders to break through barriers at work.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: And helping them to understand and have more tools in their box to deal with systemic bias and workplace stereotypes and that. And we're gonna talk about that. And I also am curious if, do you work with men on how to show up? Like how to mentor, be more engaged or effective leaders that sort of prioritize that success of the whole community and industry? Or is it primarily you work with women. And then they kind of go into the spaces and use those
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: It is probably that one. I'd probably work more with women to enable them. And I suppose it's not just to give them the toolkit. 'cause what I found was that people go, right, okay, but does this toolkit enable me to get through to men? So therefore now I, I shape the, the coaching to therefore give them my male perspective having, I think we just, we discussed before that I've worked for 38 years and I've met a whole cacophony of different male styles as well as women's styles as well. [00:03:00] So for me it's about how can I teach them how a man thinks. Even though women are, again, you know, in terms of their relationships with other genders are normal and they've probably facilitated those throughout their lives.
For me, it's about how can I, how can I show up and teach them what I've learned about male behaviors in the workplace and how I've seen those. Some of them are embedded, some of them change, and I have seen men go through transformations in transitions to become more empathetic and more gender equal.
But the toolkit alone just enables women to, I suppose, understand themselves better, to give them that realization that, that they have the power. They have the power to be who they choose to be and who they want to be. And aligned with that then is, well, that's fine, but how do we then enable you to understand how to utilize that toolkit in the workplace to overcome those biases and [00:04:00] stereotypes?
Because that's the ceiling that sometimes we, I find that women hit, they go, this is great, but doesn't really help me to break through those barriers that I've got no control over. So it's about equipping them with not just the sort of a mindset tool, but also the understanding the behaviors that men exhibit.
And I still haven't got to the bottom of why men behave the way they do in the workplace when outside of the workplace they can behave somewhat differently to the same gender.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Hmm.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: It's, yeah, it's so still working on that. It's a work in progress for me because I learn more each day about the people I know, the people I work with.
And I mean, one company at the moment is an example and it's this headcount of 66 and there are. For women. Now that's a manufacturing engineering, so they're traditionally male bastion environments. But what I'm noticing is, 'cause I've obviously, I'm like an outlier for them. In terms of my [00:05:00] approach, but they've embraced me and they're now starting to embrace some of my methodology and my thinking and my empathy.
And whilst they accept they are, and I can I say this, they, they call themselves hairy asked engineers, typical men.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Hmm.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: what they're doing is they're opening themselves up to take on board another perspective. And I think that's admirable. So I suppose in some respects, I am. When I do work in a male dominated arena, I don't become them.
I speak to who I am. So they start to understand how they can potentially become a bit more like me. So I suppose it's, yeah, it's just knowing the room, understanding the audience. And because I say to them, you've all got wives, partners, daughters, sisters, aunties. How would they feel if you spoke to them, how sometimes you might speak to some of the four women who work in this place.[00:06:00]
How do you think that might make them feel? So it's constant, a repetition of message, but done in a way that makes them feel the men is encourages them, makes them feel safe. It's because for them, their role models have been sexist, stereotypical full of bias. So they kind of, they bring that with them. I suppose my role in my own little way is to sort of hopefully chip away at that and show them that there is another option, there's another choice and fair play.
They are starting to embrace that slowly but surely, but three years in now and I'm still there. So. I'm hoping that they are seeing that my, my perspective has a place in their perspective as well. But sometimes, yeah. But every now and then they revert to type and it's like, okay, back to the drawing board.
But they understand why that happens. It's just making them realize that by practicing a different behavior that will then overtake their existing [00:07:00] behaviors. So yeah, work in progress in that respect.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Yeah. I mean, there's no arriving, right? Like there's, it's, there's always more work to do,
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Always
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: so
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: learnings and more context and appreciating that these behaviors they exhibit have been with them for some of them 35, 40, 50 years. So my introduction is gonna seem out their comfort zone. And so yeah, we, there's a, there's a long standing opportunity to make them see the world differently and appreciate and respect all the genders just as much as they appreciate and respect their own.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: All right. Well, and I'm kind of curious about that in terms of se, it seems to me I'm extrapolating here, that being raised in such a matri, matrilineal, or matri, uh space and perhaps you were conditioned a little differently. So you both, so you probably had to learn [00:08:00] how to talk to men effectively. Is, did, do you, do you remember doing that? Was that, is that an experience that, that sent, resonates that like, sort of you came from this place and you had to kind of figure out how to be successful in that world and communicate effectively
or?
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah, because I was.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Am I making
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: I was younger. I was,
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Uhhuh.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: I never really thought about this, but because of my influences were so female. And my, my auntie and my mom. We're very much into theater and amateur dramatics. And my auntie was exceptionally good. I mean, she was the, she won the equivalent of Oscars in the amateur world, so she was incredible.
And people would travel for miles and miles to see her perform. So the world i, I inhibited was very female driven. And in terms of gender, it was all, all the male influences for me were, were gay. So I was very much in this really different gender world. But at the time that's, that's [00:09:00] all I knew when I realized I was a bit different, was the influences of friends and other people.
And I used to get quite a considerable amount of stick. I suppose you would call it, bullying at the time. I just used to go, well, I, I know nothing else. But yeah, I remember thinking back now. 'cause my dad left when I was four. So there was, I can't, the male influencers I remember were gay men. So to kind of, so for me, that's all I knew.
And I think you're right. I had to probably, I. Readjust, but as a young teenager, I, I just, that, that's who I was, I kind of took the stick. And took that bullying just as part of being a teenager, part of growing up. It wasn't until I was probably 17, 18 that I became more comfortable and confident, and I started to use different skills and different communication styles.
And I found that by using, I think probably not heard this before, is by using humor. I found that using humor [00:10:00] would get, would allow me to cut through and, and I think by being self-deprecating as well, that seemed to work. So you kind of find your place, don't you? Because obviously when people who know me now and say, when I was younger, I was really quiet.
What you Yeah, I was really shy. Really shy because I didn't really feel comfortable because it was almost, if I, if I told my story. The expectation was that I'd get stick. Or I'd get bullied. Or I'd get called names. And I go, God, some of the names I was called and I think about it, not just at home, but in school.
At school, it was a different type of sort of mental bullying. But I just, 'cause my family were all, rise above it. My, my, my, the women were all rise above it. Every time you leave this front door, you are on a stage. And I'm like, I'm 11. What stage are you talking about? You're on a stage. And therefore, even if you don't feel good, my mum would always say, [00:11:00] put your brave face on.
And I was all, what's a brave face? Shrimp, the one that you're gonna wear today. And that, and then my auntie would, you know, again, the same, the same mantra rep. Always relay back. Never think, never let anyone tell you who you are. And if they do, just to just let it ride over. You don't retaliate. If you're gonna retaliate, do it in a way that gets you what you want.
So you should either perform or use humor. And that's what I used to do. Or Excel somewhere where they can't excel. In other words, show up. And that's what I used to do. But yeah, those early teenage years were, looking back now, they were painful, but at the time they weren't painful because I just had people to guide me through them, I suppose.
I was fortunate. Even though it felt looking back unfortunate because of the the constant abuse I would get because of my family upbringing. Because I was, [00:12:00] you know, in a single parent family, which in, in the early seventies and mid seventies in the UK was frowned upon again. People look for anything to make themselves feel better.
And, 'cause we were a one parent family and we didn't have a great deal of income. I got free places at schools. I got free school dinners. So again, it was like, oh, another label to throw at me. So I got loads. But it makes, it's made me who I am, which is resilient. Massively. Yeah. So again, thanks. Thanks, thanks ladies for giving me your tutelage and guidance and so I didn't retaliate.
And I could have done, I could have become, I could have, I suppose, become one of them. In terms of the guys, the boys and the men who, you know, would constantly give me that. I could have quite easily done that. But I didn't because it just, I knew it wasn't the right thing to do. And I suppose I had that female perspective to say, that will achieve nothing, you know?
So I just took it. [00:13:00] I took it. And I suppose in some ways, if you think about how women, you know, behave in the world. Maybe I was doing exactly what they were conditioned to do, which is just take it, which makes me feel sad. Really.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: no, I, I can hear a lot in that. And it makes sense that, that you're, that you're drawn to support people in, in creating awareness of their power and ways to step into that. As opposed to simply accept the limitations. 'cause you, it sounds like you didn't accept the limitations and you did have to stand up for yourself and, and, and choose own
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: And when I think about, you know, there's a concept they talk about called imposter
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Hmm.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: And I, I think it's, you know, I am sure you've
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Hmm.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: but like the, they, I don't think it's a thing. I think it's a cultivated. I think that people cultivate for women, women of color, people of color, disabilities, queer, [00:14:00] whatever your, your situation is it's not this quote unquote normal thing. There's a cultivation of messaging, like what you were talking about that you received in school that tells you you're not enough for your, you can't do it. And eventually it, it's difficult not to internalize some of that. And so finding ways to create spaces and connections, find mentors and, and places that help you really affirm, like, actually no, that's not true. It's, but it's hard. It can be really
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: I can see
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah. And that cultivation is, I, I mean, it's a huge, it's a huge concept in the uk, particularly in the workplace, but again, considerably with women. I've got imposter syndrome. I said, okay, then I, I'm hearing that. So tell me about this imposter syndrome. Where's it come from? What does it sound like?
What does it, can I say what does it look like? You know, what, how does it make you feel? And again, sometimes it's about how can you reframe the imposter syndrome? Because I said, you know, you're not born with it. So where's it coming [00:15:00] from? Why is it cultivated? Are you nurturing it? I said, can you not reframe it?
Maybe? And actually see it is, is it may be a your way of risk assessing, evaluating situations. Is it your guide or how can it be my guide? It's negative. Is it? You make it negative, but does it have to be negative? Oh, that's ridiculous. Why is it, you know, again, so you have these conversations and I get it.
I understand. It's just your internal voice. It's your internal voice. So therefore, so you are in control of that voice. So if that's the case, you've created this voice and they go, yeah, well, what if we create another voice? Or what if created a voice that was kind of like the antithesis of your imposter syndrome and let's call that your guide.
What would that look like? I. Well, that would work. Would it? Well, it, it might do. Said, why don't you have both of them said you can have this voice here and, and this voice here, like I think the old adage was the angel and the devil on your shoulders said, all you are doing is listen to one, create another one that kind of counteracts [00:16:00] and counterbalances.
This one said, risk, evaluate. I said, you'd be amazed at what can happen. I said, 'cause we all have the voice in our head that tells us we can't do things. But there's also a voice there that we can create that tells us, I can do this, I can do this. I, I said, so your belief systems are what drive your imposter syndrome.
I said, so why don't we just look at introducing new belief systems? We can't do that. Actually, you can, and here's how.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: So you
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: And then it's like, wow. Okay. Said, it's always, it's always gonna be there. 'cause you've c you, you've, you've nurtured it, you've cultivated it. It's never gonna disappear. What it can do is be quietened, and you have the power to do that.
You can quieten it down, but by doing that, you need to have something here that's that's louder, that's more prolific, that's more impactful, that's more useful, and that's your guide. And then all of a sudden when they realize it and feel it and see the impact it can have, it's all. Well haven't done this before because maybe no one's ever asked you to look at it [00:17:00] differently before you've just accepted it and kept watering it as you cultivating it cultivate a new voice. That's all I did.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Yeah.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Cultivate a new voice that told me that I can do things and there's my template and follow it. And when you fall off, remind yourself of why you built a new template. So yeah, there's, and that's always in our power. It doesn't cost anything apart from time and application.
So, but yeah. Great point. Im cultivating it. Yeah, I, I like that. I don't like it, but I understand it.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Right, right. Exactly. It's a way to think about it because it, it comes up so often and it, it just really struck me that so many people who are clearly quite effective and amazing, doubt themselves. And I, I don't, I personally think a little doubt is, is good for all of us. The, the folks that never doubt themselves have, in my opinion, a very different issue going on.
And think it's more problematic. However, [00:18:00] there's an OO overemphasis on doubt in, in certain places that that doesn't necessarily match with experience. And so it does seem a little cultivated
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: it's, it's it sense checking.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: conditioning.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: exactly. It co it does boil down to that, but yeah, it's utilizing it for good. Make it your best friend, not your worst enemy.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: your best friend. I love that.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Why not?
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: I, that's a, that's
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: If you succeed in what you
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Hmm.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: let me say,
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Well, okay. Thank you.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: you do, what do you, what would you see being different?
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: What about me or the world?
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: But I was thinking about the world or the industries that you work in and, but you're, I mean, you can also talk about what feel would be different for you.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: I think for me would be that sense of fulfillment, that, that this experience, journey, adventure, this chapter in my life has been worthwhile, I think. If I can make one person transform or transition from where they are into a better version of themselves, that for me, [00:19:00] that's success. And I can say that because I did it.
I did it in 10 years ago where I was, yeah, lo e lots going on. And thankfully someone saw my potential and could hear my imposter syndrome kicking in and just basically gave me what I needed to. I suppose to transition into the person that I am today. 'cause that person's always been there. I'd just forgotten who, who they were and where they were.
So for me, the more people I can reach and the more people together we can help to create that more positive guide within them. That for me is success. At the moment, that's, that's happening and it is one step at a time. I think sometimes small steps can create really big impact. In terms of the world.
Wow. Whew. I would just, I just want the scales to be balanced at the moment. They're so unfairly tipped in favor of men, and I just don't, I can't, [00:20:00] I can't fathom that I can kind of understand it, but I can't fathom it. I can't appreciate it because of, and I suppose people might say, well, my view of the world is very skewed because.
I mean, I've met, bizarrely, I've met three or four men in the last 12 months who have a very similar story to me, as in raised in a very powerful, matriarchal household. So they get it, but we are few and far between. I think. I think I'm, I'm meeting more of these men now, but I suppose maybe my viewpoint of the world is skewed because my conditioning was very female driven.
I've got to take that. I have to listen to that and, and understand. So is my way, is my background better? I have no reference. That's the only reference I've got. But when I see the pain and suffering in the workplace because of the way men show up and behave, my rational brain says, well, surely my [00:21:00] upbringing, my way of thinking is more, there's more legality.
It's fairer. I'm not saying it's softer, but it's more appreciative of what? Of what people can bring irrespective of their gender. It's what people bring to the table. It's what people bring to the work or bring to home or bring to life. So I would just want a world where everyone's treated equally, where everyone's respected for who they are, not because of their gender, but 'cause of who they are.
And for me, that would be.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Yeah.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: That would be what? That would be success. And when I look at white papers and research, I think I shared, I've shared one before and it's so, it's so divided. We're so far off
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Yeah.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: far. And particularly from a, in terms of a cultural, a cultural piece, the disparity between. Ethnicity and success [00:22:00] in terms of leadership is so skewed, so skewed, and that for me, I just think it, it shouldn't matter, but it doesn't.
I'd love to find out why men behave the way they do, because in my mind it doesn't seem, it is not right. It's not normal, and I'd love to be able to get to the, get to grips with that. How do, how do we find out what causes men to behave the way they do, and how can we potentially enlighten them and reeducate them so they realize the impact that their behaviors and the, the, the devastating impact their behaviors have on women?
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: It's interesting. I, I think. I mean, if we could solve that question right here on this podcast, we'd be set for life and,
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Be happy,
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: and be happy. Right,
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: be a place and there might not be as much discord and conflict and, but yeah.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: right. I think that with the thing that I've seen is [00:23:00] that. People get more scared about an idea than an experience. So, for example, the men that you work with at this manufacturing place, they're responding. They're, they're finding it to be effective. And if someone were to say to them something like, we're gonna help you be more egalitarian or more feminist, they might have a negative reaction to that.
It might create like a fear response in terms of they're
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Mm, that's it. Losing something. That's it.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Right. Like I feel like I've seen that and, and yet most people are pretty decent actually. And if, if you don't talk to them about the idea. You simply show them the experience and the impact. They, they don't wanna cause harm or cut people out.
They really don't. It's like you said, they're conditioned or they, they had role models. when the fear gets stoked first, I think that's where they come from. So they're resistant versus being engaged. So I think, I think sometimes [00:24:00] the, the delivery method and the delivery person matters like especially you being. Male
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: and kind of speaking their language, they would receive it differently from you than they would from me. And even if I did exactly the same things. And that's not bad or good, it's just understanding how humans work. We, we are very social. We, we copy people that we think are like us. It's very like basic part of our behavior and how we learn.
And so why I was asking you about the work you do with men, because they feel like. That someone said this several years ago that, and I thought it was really interesting, they were like, if sexism and violence against women could be solved by women, it would already have been done. Like we, we are out there doing what we can.
And so we need men to step in and teach men. And also translate like you are and help de cultivate some of that conditioning.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: I agree. Completely agree. And yeah, you're right. Isn't, isn't it interesting how, [00:25:00] when you say it like that, that if women, if women rule the world, what kind of world would we live in? A world run by women, there's a, there's a concept. How would that be?
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Yeah,
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: success. Maybe that would be, would there be as many wars? Would there be as much conflict? I dunno, who knows, but yeah, but why shouldn't we work towards that?
Or why, why can't we all run the world? I.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: It's like that, that, I love that INE O'Connor quote where she said, I don't think the opposite of patriarchy is matri- matriarchy, I think is fraternity.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: That's nice.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: in, in community and, and, and I mutually supportive and
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: as we are out, it feels the work, I know it feels as the workplace kind of creates these, the barriers seem to materialize. And I don't know what goes on in people's homes, but. Said before when we referenced to men at work, so how do your partners feel [00:26:00] if are your children? Oh, I wouldn't speak to them like this right then.
So when's that penny gonna drop then? That the person you are at home, why don't you bring that person to work? Then why don't you bring that empathy and that support and that nurturing? Well, and again, because it's, it's, it's the conditioning of this is how we are at work. No, it's not. Just be, just be consistent, you know, be consistent and understand why you are the way you are in work and, and look around you and ask people how it makes them feel that the stats are frightening in terms of the opportunities for women.
Frightening. And the research piece I gather that I think Emmy Faust had done in the UK with 400 female entrepreneurs that. I'm not too sure where she's got the, the figure from. I'm I, I trust her and respect her, but if women had the same opportunities as men in business, we could be looking in the UK alone value to the economy of 250 [00:27:00] billion pounds.
That's, that, you know, that's a game changer because men are funded more, men are invested in more, you know, female entrepreneurs. Whilst there are some great success stories. There's not as many as there are men. You know, AI
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Mm-hmm.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: is built by men. It's created by men. There's lots of areas where women have been so, so dominant, and yet they get overlooked.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Mm-hmm.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: men. Men are frightened.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: I. I think there is a, a definitely like a fear of loss that gets cultivated as well, and it, it's a, it's a perspective shift in terms of how do you view success. Like for me, I win when you win. I, I am interested in sitting in the discomfort until we find a
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: that is actually going to be effective for everyone and maybe I don't get everything I want that's okay. [00:28:00] Like if everybody can get something they need and there could be some real like movement forward, that's worth it to me. And what's interesting to me is once again, I think the majority of people actually have that instinct and it gets, it gets trained out of them. Or they're in situations where they're very reactive to that fear of, oh, I can't, you know, I'm not gonna get what gets what's mine. Because they've been working like they, they spent 20 years under someone's like tutelage or shoe, right?
And then they're like, oh, now it's my turn. and so I don't even blame them for, for that. Like, that's what they know, right? And. lot of times when you can speak to people in a very effective and connective way, they, they're open to doing things differently. They're not as committed to it as they are
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah,
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Right.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: and I think your point around the, the idea. It's important who delivers that and how it's delivered. But when you do show [00:29:00] people an experience and you can, you can share with them the impact, that's when I think real change can be embraced because understanding the impacts of behaviors, like for example, when we, you tell people, so stop doing something.
If you say, if you can stop doing this because this is, this is the impact it has, that's a very different, that's received very differently. Stop doing that or stop doing that because this is how it's making me feel, or this is the impact it's having. You know, so again, there's, just by giving it that caveat, you say, adding that perspective onto it makes such a difference.
Oh, okay. I didn't realize that. I didn't know that. Well, now that you do, what can we, what can we do differently? Then? What can you do differently? What can you start to do? Can, when you start to do this, this is the, the useful impact that it will then have. Alright. It's a simple feedback loop, yet we don't,
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: You,
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: don't offer it.
We just have to stop doing that. Start [00:30:00] and start doing this. Okay. Why give them a reason? You say give them an experience, share with them the impact it has, and I then I see change that has to be done consistently. That word again, consistently for that progression to, to start to build. And I say when people get it, then that becomes the default.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Yep.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: can change. People say, I can't remember my folks. I'm saying my mom and my dad, from what I can remember, there's no such word as can't and we all laugh. Yeah, there is. There isn't. And I only realized what that actually meant probably about 10 years ago. You know, neurologically, there is no word, can't, doesn't exist.
You can not want
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Hmm.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: to do something but you, there's no, can't. It's just a choice. We have the ability to do whatever we want in here in terms of how our, our brain connections work. There is no calm. So my mum was right all those years ago. [00:31:00] I just didn't believe her because I, 'cause I was a kid. No.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Yeah. She's
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah, well, exactly, exactly.
There is no such thing as calm. There's just, I don't want to. And that's the difference. So anyone can change if they want to or if they can understand. Impact that might, and it might not impact on them, but it might impact on those people that they respect and love. I think it's that, you know, we are looking at a dads and daughters campaign again, and people say, well, yeah, but they're just words.
Well, if we could understand dads as in leaders. Look at them as dads and dads of daughters. What difference would that make? Would that help us discover more about how they think and why they behave the way they do? Because we kind of create more of an emotional connection. So we kind of almost remove that workplace mask and speak to them as dads, not as the CEO, because the CEO is just what they do.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Mm-hmm.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: some ideas [00:32:00] around that and that conversation started with. Two big organization, and I mean big organizations both in the financial space as well, which is very male dominated. So there are other, and this is with men, there are male allies out there who have got really strong gender equality programs, and these are two big, huge banks.
One's a big bank and one's a big accountancy practice like global. That for me, that's progress. It's slow. It's how do we, how do we make that, how do we create a better momentum? And that's where I come in to sort of say, okay, different voice, no emotional connection to your company.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Yeah.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: How do we create change?
How do we, how do we put the foot? What's it, the foot To the pedal or the, yeah, the pedal to the floor. In, in mail. Mail speak. How do we get more gas in
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: to the
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: to get more?
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: to me.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: So, yeah, so there's, there's, there's some really good conversations happening at the moment. And there is [00:33:00] desire,
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Mm-hmm.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: but there's also a tiredness in the uk there's a tiredness around gender 'cause Oh, we've done that.
No, you've not, you've just touched the surface. It's not a tick box exercise. It's a way of life. It's a way of thinking. It's a, it is an MO that you need to embrace because you're just creating all this discord and, and, and disharmony in your workplace when it could be so different.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Yeah.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: And it And it's good business. Like that's the other part. I think you said there's a research that shows that, and. The largest transfer of wealth is supposed to occur in the next 15 years, and significant portions of it are supposed to go to women. So we'll see what that,
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah,
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: I mean, that it's, so what advice would you give your 18-year-old self?
It's my favorite question these days.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: always keep your eyes open. [00:34:00] Always keep your eyes open to the opportunities that that present themselves and always take. I'm going to listen to your guides. Listen to your guides, and those guides might be family, they might be friends, they might be your own guides that you know those voices. Listen to them and understand them, and trust them.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Mm-hmm.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: That'd be my advice to my 18-year-old self. 'cause when I see my 18-year-old self, I, yeah, I was just about to dive into. Interesting world. It is a great world. I, I loved it. But yeah, I'd probably say, you know, keep your eyes wide open there. There's more to life than what's in front of you, I think immediately in front of you.
So have a wider perspective. Yeah.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: That's good advice.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah. Well I give that to, I say that to my, my children um, and my daughter has taken it [00:35:00] beautifully.
She's very calm as well, which is lovely. She's a bit off the wall, which I think is wonderful. She's a bit quirky and she calls it goofy. She's a bit, I'm a bit goofy, dad.
I went, nothing wrong with that. That's fine. That's who you are. Embrace it. So, yeah.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Mm-hmm. a little
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Yeah.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: hope. I think
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: I, I think you and I are quite goofy in our own way, but it's it's about being true to yourself, isn't it? I want her to be authentic. Yeah. And not, not have to play a game just to appease people. I. If you're playing games, you with the wrong people.
So, yeah. Yeah.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Is there anything happening in your business that you're excited about, that you want people to know
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: on the 19th of May, we launched the second chapter of Women Who Lead Barriers to Breakthroughs.
So we're just finalizing all the content for that. And we've even got some early interest as well, even though it's not been,
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: [00:36:00] Mm-hmm.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: not live as such. So may is a marvelous month for lots of reasons, but personal and, and work. And yeah, running, running for Alzheimer's. 'cause my,
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Okay.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: my dad, who I'd never really got to know he died of Alzheimer's and dementia and my mom, who's still wonderful has also now she suffers with Alzheimer's, so we're gonna run for her, not for him gonna run for her and all those other sufferers. So yeah, I'm excited about that and hence joining a running club, watching what I eat. Yeah, so basically when I run that day, I will be running not just for my mum, but for all those other people who suffer or who have yet to suffer from the most debilitating of conditions.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: For folks that are listening, how do they learn more? Follow you, get in touch.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: my, the place where I'm most visible and most active is LinkedIn. I always, I was told by the 17 years of a LinkedIn user, I never realized you just kind of do it, [00:37:00] don't you? But yeah, I've been on that platform for 17 years. So the most of my work is, I mean, I have a website, but and the website I'm really proud of 'cause it reflects who I am and I can go into so much more detail.
But LinkedIn is the place people normally go to. Connect, engage or some say check you out. So, so yeah, LinkedIn is my, is my space. And I'm, I'm active on there as well and, and visible. And yeah, I, I share what I hope people will find interesting, insightful, maybe challenging as well. But yeah, that, that's where I live most of the time.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Awesome. Well, thank you
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Thank you.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: I appreciate you being here and talking to me today, and thanks everybody for listening.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Thank and thank everyone who's, yeah. Any questions or comments or if you feel that what we've talked about has resonated or has challenged you, share it, let's keep the conversation alive. That's just my perspective that we've shared. And, and thank you. 'cause you've triggered some interesting [00:38:00] experience for me today, my childhood.
I didn't think I'd revisit my early teenage years today, so thank you. Thank you.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: You are welcome. Thank you for being so open. appreciate it.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: That's who I am. I find it's important to, to be yourself and be transparent, helps me as well. I'll now go for a walk, probably on a slightly different cloud than I was before. I will. 'cause, yeah, I feel lighter. So thank you.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Oh good.
simon_1_03-25-2025_133454: Thanks so much.
bau--she-they-_1_03-25-2025_073454: Yeah. That's awesome. That's.
Thanks for tuning in. Don't forget to check out Simon's work on LinkedIn and look forward to the launch of Women Who Lead Barriers to Breakthrough on May 19th. Tune in next week as I share some ways to think about plans, intentions, goals, and outcomes that can help you stay nimble and focused. Thank you for tuning into business as unusual, remember, in this ever evolving world of modern business, it's not about fitting in.
It's about standing out. See you next time. [00:39:00] Stay curious, stay innovative, and always keep it unusual.
